So….Is This How Sardines Feel?

…This all happened this past Monday 10/21/13.

Just another day on the Santa Teresa train headed south for the evening.  Everyone looks tired, and ready to go home.  No one is talking.  No one is exchanging pleasantries.  Right now, these next few moments will be focused on making it to the house.

4:30?  The train’s a little late today…and only one car?  No worries.  I’m just ready to go home.  Hold on….It’s a little more occupied than normal.  So, no back seat viewing for me.  Hopefully, it won’t get too crowded.

“Excuse me ma’am while I sit my rather large brown body next to yours.  Don’t worry, I’m not contagious.”  That’s what I was thinking as the lady I sat next to cringed when I sat down beside her.

According to our conductor, there was some sort of bio hazard that caused the train to drop off one of it’s cars.  Which explained our smart car like ride today.  So, what you end up having is tons of folk crammed into one train car headed south.  How did it feel?  Cramped and uncomfortable all while moving fast as lightning down the tracks.

Whoops.  Now we know why it’s so important to hold onto the straps while standing on a moving train.  Apparently some phantom deer hopped across the tracks, or better yet, some ignant (yes, I said ignant) person driving a Prius cut my man off while we were rumbling our way down the tracks.  Stay alert people, because…thar she blows!  Several unfortunate souls went tumbling down the middle aisle because someone had a heavy foot when it came to the brakes.

Everyone seemed to gather themselves rather well after playing human bowling.  Stop after stop, we all noticed that more people were boarding the 4:30 Santa Teresa than were getting off.  That made for some very uncomfortable folk.  Fortunately, no one was mean or rude about or small accommodations.  One gentlemen even helped lighten the mood by offering a new rider some space on the train by saying:  “hold on brotha, let me suck in my gut, and you’ll have some space to squeeze in.”

Wait….what’s that smell?  Oh dear lord.  Did someone just fart?  Sweet Jesus, it smelled like someone swallowed a dead skunk….and wait!  Why does it seem like the heat is on…..OH GOD…I’m choking!  It’s getting worse by the second.  I can’t breathe!…and if this lady beside me nods one more time & rests her head on my shoulder while snoring like its midnight, I might scream!  (Am I being a tad dramatic?….maybe, but having tons of folks in an overly crowded, and poorly ventilated tin can will cause you to be the same way)

Whew, we FINALLY made it to my stop.  I’ve never been so glad to breathe fresh air in all my life.  I really needed that.  Oh, and thank you miss lady for finally realizing that my shoulder isn’t a pillow, and I don’t have the cooties.  Wow, when a person warms up to me…they really get comfortable, huh?

What a day.  What a ride.  Now, It’s time for that 1.5 mile walk to the house.  Uh oh!  Almost had another human bowling experience up close and personal.  Ladies…a word of advice.  If you know that you’re gonna be riding the train, and you have to walk to your final destination…please wear walking shoes instead of heels.  This lady in front of me almost learned that lesson the hard way.  That is all.

 

Until next time…

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3 thoughts on “So….Is This How Sardines Feel?

  1. Bri Hughes says:

    Lmbo!

  2. Krysta says:

    Did the lady drool on u? Lol

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